Sigh. The week has been nothing less than crazy, confusing and tiring.

The NCDCC SNCO course (for new student leaders of units) was running and I was the leadership coordinator for the course. While to many running a course may seem easy, but it is most certainly not. Not by a long shot. Ok, so I wasn't the course commander but coordinating the learning of leadership for 80 over cadets is certainly not easy. As Major John would say, "Teachable moments have to be planned and created". Contrary to popular belief, teachable moments are not unplanned moments. They are totally planned. They have to be to ensure that any learning at all can take place. Thus every effort had to be made to ensure that as many teachable moments as possible were created for the cadets to learn the various aspects of leadership. And it is not easy to arouse the interest of so many 15 year olds at the same time. They have to be totally engaged and their minds totally focused while at the same time allowing them to expand their thoughts on the various aspects of leadership being learnt. Clearly, no easy task. However, when you persevere and do your job well, you feel fully rewarded (albeit fully exhausted) when you see the end product. Many SNCOs said they were inspired to become role models and better leaders for their cadets and they aspire to lead in such a way that they hope their cadets will eventually be even better than themselves. I had amazing colleagues who fully understood the need for effective education and they certainly made the course a resounding success.

On a personal front however, things have been far from celebratory. The hurricanes of confusion and helplessness that have been sweeping through me over the last 2 weeks have gained momentum. I feel lost and I cannot seem to find the directions to get back on my way again. And the most amazing thing is, I don't even know why I feel this way. In the past whenever something like this would happen, I would someone or the other to talk to about things. Right now, I'm that go-to guy for a lot of people. They can depend on me to listen to their problems. However, I don't seem to have a go-to person anymore. Maybe I have just stopped looking. God knows. I need to get out of this rut soon. Very soon. I know I can. And I will. I just might need some help. yup.