Wow.....It seems that I've been away from this blog for more than two months now! Forgive me but I have been quite occupied these two months and hardly had the time or energy to update my blog. I'll try my best to slowly put everything down in the coming days, weeks, months....

So after my ORD (you can read all about it in my previous post), I went to malaysia for a few days to visit my sweetheart. After that I came back to Singapore and another week later, I left for India, Egypt and Yemen. I went to Mumbai and Surat in India, Cairo and Alexandria in Egypt, Sanaa, Zebid, Ibb, Zi Jibla, Hutaib, Sharika, Shibam and a few other places whose name I cannot recall right now in Yemen.

Overall it was a great trip. I had the oppurtunity to experience so many different cultures and the things that they had to offer. More importantly, in fact, most importantly, I found some peace and solace and spiritual enlightenment in all the holy places that I've visited and learned more about. I'm more aware of my religion and faith. I have come to realise even more what true love for your fellow man means and what many people have done to preserve this love. What Duat Mutlaqeen have gone through over the years to ensure mumineen are always aware that they're loved by their Maula.

I think the most heart rendering and touching moments for me came in Cairo, Egypt when I visisted Ras-ul-Husain (AS) (Tomb of the Holy Head of Imam Husain) and the Tomb of his beloved sister, Maulatena Zainab. When I was standing in front of their Tombs, I just wept. I remembered that a few months ago, I was in front of Aqa Maula (TUS) who told us that Imam Husain (AS) made the ultimate sacrifice so that the sins of the faithful may be forgiven. He fulfilled the promise he made to Rasulullah (SAW) to be the salvation for mumineen everywhere. I remembered Maula doing the Zikr of Maulatena Zainab, how she went through so much pain and suffering to protect the progeny of Rasulullah and spread the story of Imam Husain (AS). And here I was so blessed to stand in their holy presence and remember them.

After I came back, I went to Malaysia for 3 days again and my fiance came back with me. We spent a wonderful week together in Singapore. More about that in another post.

I've started a temp job at Marshall cavendish International as an editorial assistant until uni starts in August. The contract is for a month. The job's been great so far.

See ya guys in my next post!

-HoZe-

Well, its over. Its finally over. The journey I started out on almost 2 and a half years ago has ended. My last day in NS ended on a happy note on tuesday afternoon as I left my posting for the last two years, the Civil Defence Heritage Gallery @ Central Fire Station.

I still remember entering NS in dec 2003 and going through BRTC and stuff. All the great times there.

It had been a good two years. I feel that I've made the fullest of my two years over at the gallery and really used all the oppurtunities that were presented to me effectively. I've managed to learn a lot and develop myself in many areas. I kinda also feel that I've contributed a lot to the gallery and the force and have managed to leave a kind of legacy over there.

And more importantly I've made many great friends. YewMing, Khairul, Terence, the guys at PAD, Frank, pk, aalok, Agil and so many others. Truly fantastic.

During the workplan seminar last week, I met LTC Subhas, my dept's director. he wished me well and gave me some advice on how to pursue studies at university.

On the last day, I decided to come to work super early. Come in early, change into my uniform and just have a look around the whole place before anybody else comes in. (I dunno why, but i'm like a super sentimental guy. A SNAG, if I say so myself) Then Encik Rosly and PK came in one after the other and we went for breakfast. After that went back to gallery and took pictures with everyone. haha. More importantly, i realised I still had a bit of stuff to hand over. So I sat down with my successor and handed everything over to him one by one. Encik then gave me the day off, which for some reason I was reluctant to. I decided to take one last group around the gallery. Then I decided to wait for Cpt Subandi to come by before I left. When Captain came, I told him I was already going off and he insisted to take us out for lunch despite some protest (not very strong though) from me. We went to Burger King. It was pretty cool. Came back, packed the rest of my stuff. Captain Subandi signed my clearance cert, I shook hands with him and handed him a letter I wrote. I find it difficult to say what I need to say when I'm leaving a place so I wrote a letter a few days earlier and passed it to him. After that I left the office and went to the counter where I said goodbye to Anthony and he gave me a nice little keychain. Then I said goodbye to Encik and left through the same door I first entered the CDHG by. And then it was all over.

A few glimpses of my NS life:

Bringing Kids around the CDHG


One of my major projects organising a web design competition for primary schools:



Another one of my projects conducting a course for volunteer guides



My colleagues




My Service Excellance Award given to me by Deputy Comissioner


My office....aka the "dark room"


I don't know why but I felt some sadness at leaving the place. Perhpas its because I had a lot of good memories from the place to take back with me. I was also kind of dissapointed with someone on my last day, but perhaps sometimes I expect too much, so never mind. Haha.


I would like to thank everyone who I worked with or made friends with during the last two years for making it a great two years. :)

So now onto the rest of my life. :)

And guys, if you read my blog, please be nice enough to leave a comment by clicking on the comment link below or leaving a message on the tag board. :P

Ok guys, have fun. And for the last time, Don't play with fire!

"A Long Long time ago in a Galaxy far far away...."

Last Wednesday, I really wanted to go and see the Star Wars exhibition at the Science Centre. It was going to close in the next few days and there was nothing going to stop me from seeing the exhibition! I needed to be one with the force.

I quickly called my buddy Kevin, whom I also know to be a Star Wars fan, (praying that he hasn't gone to see it already) and made arrangements to go and see the exhibition together.

What could I say? Meeting Kevin after almost 2 years was wonderful. It always is when old friends meet after such a long time.

Old memories aside, the force was beckoning us. We found our way (rather Kevin found the way) to the science Centre and we quickly got in. It was like amazing!See some shots below:






Then we went to this interesting section called the Jedi Gym. They had like these fantastic games testing your jedi powers. There was this game where two people will sit at opposing ends of the table and wear head bands with metal strips which can detect brainwaves. By relaxing, a participant can manipulate a ball placed in the middle of the table to move towards his opponent without any physical contact. Kevin and I played it and Kevin won all the time! He tried to console me but I have an inner feeling that he is actually a jedi in disguise.



And here's a picture of me with my very own pod racer!



After that we went into this theatrette where they showed various films highlighting the different aspects of making the Star wars movies. My three favourites were the ones on props, darth vader and kenobi. We could have been sitting there the whole day watching the stuff.

After that we departed to the nearest macedonalds where kev and I caught up on old times.

And definately, it was a day well spent!

May the force be with you!

-HoZe-

The last few days, for want of a better word, have been interesting. I wouldn't say I was particularly stressed, or particularly busy. You could, however, say that I was "occupied sufficiently". Sigh, doesn't the english language give you lots of ways to express yourself?

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately. What do I want to do in the future and stuff. And I don't know whether to be scared or excited. Because all that thinking led to only one answer. That I really still don't know what I want to do. I mean I know that I wanna get married and settle down and stuff. But career wise? I might want to be a teacher, join the SCDF, join a private sector life sciences firm or even just concentrate on making it on my own as a self-employed person.

And then there's all the other stuff I still really want to do like starting a world-peace society that will eventually broker deals for world peace, buy a bungalow on the swiss alps, study higher levels of Haqiqat (Islamic Studies) and so many other things that I can't possibly list here.

I realise that when we're young, we tend to dream a lot. We tend to have so many ambitions. And in our young naiviety, we feel that we can achieve all those dreams. As we grow older and become wiser to the world, we wonder whether we can actually achieve all those dreams.

The thing is, we can never stop dreaming. That would be disastrous. We should never stop working towards our ambitions. If we do, then when will we ever achieve them?

So people, keep draeming and keep working towards those dreams.

Today I did something amazing. It took a lot of courage and determination, but I finally did it. I finally conquered. I cleaned up all my notes, worksheets and stuff that I had not cleaned since my A-levels two years ago.

I took everything out and it was horrible. The papers were everywhere. They were closing in on me. Me and my sidekick teddybear were outnumbered but we fought valiantly. Below you can see my sidekick almost being overwhelmed.


In the end, victory was ours. To the winner went the spoils. The end result:


Yay.....I won.

HoZe

Wah......I tell you ah.....I'm really really tired now.

It's amazing how much you can push the body and how much further you can push your mind.

25 days to ORD! I really can't wait. Not that I'm not enjoying NS. Just that I want to resume my life again. Continue with my great life plan.

Right now, I'm like handing over more and more responsibilities in my NS workplace over to my juniors. My superiors no longer discuss with me long term projects or stuff. It's like I'm slowly phasing out. For the last two years, I've been like in the middle of everything and now its just seems weird stepping out already. Renewal is inevitable. I'll be stepping out soon, towards the rest of my life that is waiting for me and somebody else will be taking my place. I'll really miss working in the CDHG. I'm proud and glad to say that I've left a positive legacy over there. And even more than that, that I've learnt so much. Now, I'm looking forward to ORD and what lies ahead.

In the meantime, its the hot season, so please be careful where you throw your rubbish. Don't play with fire. :p

have fun.

HoZe

Hi everyone!

Well, the last few days were kinda exciting and I honestly wasn't bored for a minute. PK came over on Tuesday night and camped overnight at my place. We had been planning our trip to Pulau Ubin for a long time. I was going there actually to recce for an activity I will be conducting this coming weekend but we decided to also just bike around and take a break from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Since PK lives quite far from Changi, he stayed over at my place.

We went together with Abbas and Rahmat. So we met at Changi Jetty and took a bumboat to Pulau Ubin. Here's a photo of us at the jetty. We were like tourists taking photos everywhere. haha.

PK was an expert on Pulau Ubin. Thanks to him, our recce was much more condusive and we managed to get quite a lot of good spots. Here's me and PK at Camp Resilience traying to figure everything out.

After that we wnet biking around the island. The island is quite hilly so it was one heck of an exercise. Needless to say, my bottom was all sore when I returned to work the next day. Haha.

Today I went for my PPCDL practical lesson. It was like so cool! Just amazing!

Got to go for kayak expedition tomorrow. It's gonna be fun. i know it!

Have fun guys.

Hoze

Welcome to my new blog. It's just been so long since I last blogged that I've now decided that I need a totally new look for my blog. Hopefully, with the new blogging environment, I shall be inspired to blog more frequent and not dissapoint the people who come here everyday just to find that the blog is not updated. I promise all of you, friends and readers that i shall blog more frequently from now on. At least once every three days for a start. :)

I went for a trip to Mumbai a few weeks ago. It wasn't for a holiday or anything. It was for spiritual cleansing. It was to see my Moula again. It was to feel his presence and his strength. It was to listen to his words of wisdom and hope. It was to know that no matter what problems I have, Aqa Moula will be there for me. He will be there to put his hand on my shoulder. He will be there to tell me, "My child, don't worry, I am here". For ten days I was drawn away from the world to immerse myself in the world of imaan and deen. I was spiritually cleansed and rejuvenated with hope. Seeing Moula draw his strength from Imam-uz-zaman made us even more aware of how every mumin draws his or her strength from Aqa Moula. And more importantly, Aqa Moula reminded us that Imam Husain (AS) went to Kerbala and sacrificed his life so that we may be cleansed of our sins. Aqa Moula told us about what cruelties were inflicted upon Imam Husain and His Family. How the enemy killed his sons. How the enemy desecrated his Holy Body. How his three-year old daughter was left weeping and calling out for her dear father. All this Imam Husain did for us.

For salvation one must take hold of someone’s hand. “O mumineen! I am the hand of Imam uz Zaman! I am his gulam! I am the Dai of Husain!” Sobs filled the hall and amid the chorus of “Maula Maula!” we witnessed a sight that will be etched in our hearts forever as our Dai stretched out his own hand and said, “O mumineen, take my hand!”

NCDCC is a whole new experience for me and I am learning so much from it. When I was placed in charge of the CLTs, I was genuinely worried. I had no experience as a senior officer and I wondered how it would all turned out. I tried to learn as much as possible on the job and I'm still learning. And I'm happy to say that many of my CLTs give me much-needed support which makes my job all the more easier. They're just great. They're even willing to go the extra mile in helping me out in stuff. My dear CLTs, you're great.

ORD is coming soon. Can't wait. Not that I'm not enjoying NS. Its just that I want to move on and now that I know the time to move on is coming, I am more eager to move forward with the next phase of my life.

My darling's birthday passed 2 days ago. Happy birthday sweetheart. Love you.

Have fun guys. And don't play with fire :)

-HoZe-

Ah-ha! You thought the previous post on this blog was my last one ever didn't you? Don't you dare deny it.....You thought you heard the last of me....but you haven't. So there.

Whats my excuse this time; you ask? Its the same excuse I give every other time. Too many things to do, and blogging has to suffer. Coz we all know how much of a pain creative writing can be, espeacially when you're so tired. (I'll tell you all about being tired soon. That is if i don't get too tired of typing before getting there.)

So the course at CDA & Pulau Ubin from 17th Nov to 7th Dec was great. It wasn't just great, it was fantastic. Did so many great new things, learnt so much more, developed myself as a leader even further and met so many new people. The 2nd NCDCC OBC was just fantastic. The only thing I didn't like was the distance between CDA and my home. The journey took almost 1 hr and 45 mins. Thank goodness some of my coursemates were nice enough to drive me home. Thanks Yee Pei, Felicia and Rindah!

Then took a one week break when my sweetheart came over to Singapore. I can't even begin to describe how great it was. And it was amazing. We went all over Singapore, and had lots of fun. I think we grew closer together every moment we spent together. And every moment, we realised afresh how much we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other. And no matter how well we knew each other, we learnt something new about each other everyday. It just goes to show how much more exciting our lives can get. Sweetheart, I love you. :)

I'll continue the rest of my story perhaps another day. But before that, some new year resolutions:
(1) Eat less. A lot less. I need to lose weight.
(2) Exercise more. A lot more. I need to look and feel much fitter.
(3) Earn more money. Lots more. I need it.

More resolutions another time. Haha.

Happy new year.

-HoZe-

Sometimes, life is weird. And then you have to figure out some stuff all over again. And then its all okay. Then it goes all weird again. Ah, the complexities of life.

But then, is life really that complex? Or is it just a case of us making our own lives complex? I think its the latter.

I suppose problems are a part of life. No matter who you are, where you're from and what you do, you will always have some problems bugging you somewhere.

But its weird. I'm able to solve so many of my problems head on. I never have to succumb to anything or anyone. Many of these problems are even bigger than me, yet I manage to swerve them away from me. But the weird thing is, that some problems, which happen to be pretty small, manage to knock me off my feet and then I fall. Nothing wrong with falling. The problem is then I start to feel that I can't get back up again. But thank, thankfully, my whole support network around me gathers and picks me me and tells me that I can jolly well do it. And then I do.

Why? Why is it that sometimes big things can be handled so quickly but smaller issues not even worth thinking about suffocate? Ah, complexities.

Recently, I have been experiencing some problems. Small, but they refuse to go away. I'm thankful that I can always depend on those close to me to give me sound advice when reason has left me and build my confidence when its shattered. And most of all, I'm thankful that Aqa Maula (TUS) is there watching over me, always. And I know that in life, no matter what comes my way, I can never be broken as long as Aqa Maula's Dua Mubarak is protecting me.

On a lighter note, I'm getting very very excited because my course is starting soon and I can't wait! Woohoo! :) And this wednesday is my driving test and I pray that I will be able to pass the first time round. I promise that I'll be a very very careful driver! :p

So guys, take care, have fun and drink plenty of water. And remember to rid your homes of stagnant water. And don't play with fire (I mean it).

-HoZe-

The last one week or so has been like some kind of extreme roller coster. Its like there have been so many thoughts running through my mind, the processor is kind of overloaded. On top of that, the great big huge humongous gigantic pile of work that sits on my desk still needs to be done...all throughout the thinking.

So many many thoughts. Like what the future will be like for me. Will I be able to find a suitable job after uni? Will I be able to achieve the salary of my dreams? Start a company which would earn millions eventually? Will I be able to pursue my dreams in Singapore? Or will I have to leave my country, my home to find my rice bowl?

If I have children, what will they grow up to be like? Will they learn to honour their traditions and follow the religion of their forefathers and serve society and their country honourably or will they be swept away with the increasing amount of negative influence now infiltrating our Asian culture? Will they learn to respect all types of people in the world, regardless of race, language or religion and pursue world peace? What type of parent would I be? Will I still be able to talk to my kids when they are in their teens?

Will my social life remain the same? Will I still be able to keep all the friends I have right now? Will In always be able to rely on them for support and give support to them when they need to rely on me? Will I remain in contact with them till I grow old?

With the way the world is going now, will I ever need to experience anything other than peace, which I'm enjoying in Singapore? Will I ever need to rise to the occasion and serve my country if there ever would be a war here? There's no doubt that I'd go forward and protect my country, Singapore, with everything I have. It's my home, I have to protect what is mine. But will it ever come to that? After that, then what?

Goodness knows why I was thinking so much. Perhaps it has to do with recent events, causing us to think about the future in a forever changing world.

And to my sweetheart. I know you're kinda busy and perhaps a bit stressed with your exams but always know I'm here for you. Love you.

Ok Guys, enough thoughts for today. Take care and goodnight. And remember, world peace is achievable if we all put aside our differences, try to understand each other and work towards a better future together.

-HoZeFa-

The TV series One Tree Hill is really an interesting one. I don't think there is another TV series that can truly match the accuracy of how it portrays teenage life. The emotion, situation and action is so accurate you sometimes feel like you're looking at your own life through the series, of course, less dramatic. It's on every Wednesday on Starworld (Starhub Ch 18)at 8pm and 10 pm. You guys shoudld really check it out. I promise, it shall not dissapoint. (Though because the story has advanced so much you might find a little trouble following it)

I went to the URA City Gallery a few days ago. It was amazing. Part of the exhibits was a scale model of the whole Sinagpore city area. They actually had models of every building in the city area and placed it on a map. Orchard road, City Hall area, raffles place....everything.



The Gallery is located at the URA building somewhere in Shenton Way I think. Guys, check it out!

Ok, that's all. Have fun.

-Hozefa-

photos of the week....or month....or whatever.

Going on a snorkelling trip with some friends to Pulau Sibu in malaysia.

Briefing Participants at the NYJC Leadership Training Camp 2005

I have to apologise, to everyone. I have to apologise for leaving my blog un-updated for a long time despite many of you phoning, sms-ing, emailing and tagging me to update it. I have just been qite tied up in the ordered chaos that is life.

Many things have happened since I last updated. One of it was stepping down as chairman of the VSITC BOA. After eight years, I am finally taking a step back.

I remember feeling something like this when I had stepped down as president of the club four years ago. But despite having felt it before, the emotions were just as overwhelming. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this feeling but I'm confident that time will lessen the effects.

I had arrived early at VS for the handover ceremony. It then struck me how much I had to prepare to see this day. The initial talk of stepping down, the conducting of elections, meeting up with my successor a few times to hand down everything and ensure nothing is left out. I didn't have time to think about emotions prior to the handing over. All I know is that sometimes I felt angry, because people just didn't understand why I needed to step down, anxious because I didn't know whether I was making the right decisions, desperate because time was running out and I had to ensure that I gave my successor everything I knew.

The ceremony went relatively well. I had actually prepared a long speech to give, but honestly, I didn't feel like giving it when I went up to make the speech so I said a few words and stepped back.

After the ceremony, I had stepped down. Felt slightly disoriented, but knew life still had much in store for me.

Will update again.....soon. :)

Take Care Guys.

-Hozefa-

Pictures of the week.....haha....
Trying to ride a motorbike but not being very successful without the keys.


Al-masjid-ul-Aqmar: A place I really want to visit to explore the Fatimi empire.

I apologise profusely to all those faithful readers who have been coming back day after day but have not seen any new entries and had to read old stuff or stuff from other blogs.

Despite July being of the busiest months of the year, I am actually quite happy it arrived. For one thing, it means I have 10 more months till ORD. Another thing, throughout the work, I'm having lots of fun. There is the NYJC LTC facilitator's training day coming up, a week later I'll get to meet my group for the year. My project with the force will be ending at the end of this month and I'm looking forward to organising the closing ceremony.

Well, another thing is because Mr You nominated me for the Friends of VS award and I got chosen for it and I will be receiving it at VS Speech day this year. BOA elections are also going to be held soon and I don't think I'm going to run for a second term of office as chairman so I'm looking forward to my "retirement". I really dunno how I'm going to end up feeling leaving the club after 7 years. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

There are lots of things and oppurtunities waiting for me once I leave BOA. I guess we'll take it one things at a time. :)

I miss my sweetheart so much. :)

Have fun and stay healthy.

-HoZe-

Ok, I think I shall not continue on my story about my trip to India. Coz then I'll never get down to it and never post another entry.

I was really dissapointed i something that has happened recently. To make things worse, people who are not at fault are being made to seem at fault. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder, when will these people grow up? Or rather, when would this specific person grow up? You could spend a lifetime explaining something to someone yet he would still come up with dumb stupid arguments. Really, sometimes I don't even know why I bother.

I've been trying to get myself back on my excercise programme coz I seem to be really getting out of shape. Starting to feel tired very easily and stuff. Just bought a gym ball for training but can't seem to keep it anywhere in the house.

Cannot wait to organise the CT bbq. Just waiting for the correct time? Yo 02S7C people, you ready to go? I love you guys.

NYJC shall now remain NYJC. Thank god. Can you imagine it being renamed to CCJC? Goodness knows what came over some people. But what really touched me is the thousands of NYJCians that immediately came forward to sign the petition to retain the glorious name of our glorious college. NYJCians, you're the best. And credit goes to Song Kwang for getting things organised for the petition.

NYJC LTC also coming up soon. Can't wait!

See ya guys!

-HoZe-

Ok, I'm back!!! Went to India for the last 8 days or so and had a great, but physically exhausting holiday. I'm gonna write about my trip here but i think writing everything in one post would deem this post too long so I'll just break it up and write out the whole story over the ext few days in separate posts.

My pre-trip days were very very hectic, as you may have surmised from my earlier entries. There were lots of things to do and packing my bags were just one of the many things written on my to-do list. Finally, on the night before my trip, I managed to get everything I needed to bring to fit into my bag and after repeatedly checking my packing list, I was convinced that I had all my stuff and went to sleep. The next morning, I went to work with my bags, met Aziz for lunch and then got ready to go. My warrant officr was kind enough to drop me off at the airport. I then boarded the plane and started on my way to Mumbai....

Will continue tomorrow. Take care guys. :)

-HoZe-

Things have been quite an organised chaos nowadays. So many different things happening simultaneously. I think never in the history of the universe have so many things happened at the same....probably causing an overload on the 'universal' server and slowing time down as we know it.

I dunno....sometimes I think I seem to get a rush out of being so busy. It just keeps me occupied, allowing me to be doing something at every point in time. I seem to thrive on a schedule bursting at the seams. I'm able to perform my best when my daily planner is full.

But on the other hand, I always complain that being so utterly busy deprives me of personal time which I would really really love to have. It seems that since my JC days, I have been spending more time with other people than spending time with myself. I miss the times where I could just walk into a cafe with a good book, order my favourite mix and sit down for perhaps a few hours just reading or writing. Now when I go to places like orchard road or suntec, I'll defintely run into an aquaintance every now and then, depriving me of my much-wanted personal time.

But another thing....I never have enough time for my close friends. I have many close friends, and it's very difficult to spend time with all of them. I'm just lucky that they call me once in a while to keep in touch. :) Ever since I left JC, my social life has definately taken a dive. Hopefully it picks up the moment I go to uni.

Now I'm busy packing to go overseas. Still lots to do, so much to complete and many things still left unsettled. Time to get busy again. Haha.

To my friends, you're not fogotten. Take care guys. See ya around :)

-HoZe-

After being repeatedly told to update my bog, here I am again after almost three weeks of absence.

As you may have concluded, while searching for answers to why I have been absent from the blogging scene for so long, I have been really really really busy. Which is the usual story. But I'm not complaining because being busy is good, it makes time pass faster when things get really boring. Haha.

Celebrated Mothers' Day yesterday. I was completely puzzled as to what to give my mum for Mothers' Day. Gifts have to be perfect. They have to mean something. So I thought since my mum is an executive, she needs a classy pen to carry around and use. So I got her a Stainless steel, airbrushed, roller ball Parker Pen. Which actually looks pretty cool. Hope she liked it. Happy Mothers' Day Mum!

Will update sommore later. Haha.

-HoZe-