Since life is toying around with me at the moment, I think I shall take the time to blog, though it is seeming quite difficult to articulate what I think I'm currently going through.

Too many things are happening at the same time right now.

I'm expected to grow up all so quickly. I just turned 24. Yes, I may not be the 'party dude' type but I value my youth. As much as I laugh it off, I hate it when people tell me that I'm old or that age is catching up with me or whatever. While not exactly wanting to be Peter Pan, I would really like to stay young a bit longer. I'm 24 for crying out loud! I still want to be active. I still want to be free to make my own decisions without being weighed down by a million responsibilities. I still want to be able to dream and achieve those dreams. I want to accomplish so much more, so don't write me off yet, please?

Work has piled up like crazy. I really have no idea how this has happened but for the first time in my life I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew. How is this happening? I still have a hectic schedule and so much work to do. Goodness, when will everything fall in place?

Now that I am in a relationship, I think i have to start getting serious about where my priorities lie. I don't think I have been giving my relationship the attention it deserves. I think I'm trying hard but not hard enough. But seriously, its a long distance relationship at the moment. Does that mean I have to try even harder? Or just accept that things move slower in a relationship like this? Don't get me wrong, I love UH to bits and think she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wonder if there is still a small part of me somewhere that is afraid of commitment and is blocking out my common sense. If there is this small part, I want to surgically remove it. Coz seriously, UH, you're my sunshine :)

The pangs of anxiety that I get once in a while has increased significantly in frequency. There are days when anxiety and frustration grip me for hours on end. And you know what? I don't know why that is so.

And lately, I sometimes feel like I'm a failure. What have I achieved in the last 24 years? Have I accomplished the goals I set for myself? Seriously, the question begs to be asked, what have I achieved? A close friend who listens to my constant rantings was kind enough to do some research and point out to me that I have achieved quite a lot. But I don't know. I just can't shake this feeling. An early twenties crisis? Give me a break. I should stop whining.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, I fell ill yesterday and got a 3-day MC. I'm barely able to type out this blog post as it is. I have got so much work to do and now I have to contend with getting better.

There seems to be no end to this dark tunnel. Yay.

And you know what the funny thing is? A few weeks ago, I thought life couldn't be better. Guess I tempted fate.