Today my mobile phone was on a roll! Never in the time of my mobile phone subscription had my mobile phone ever rung that many times. And it was not just calls.....there were messages too! At first I felt rather popular and wanted (ok, I need attention, so sue me) but after a while it just got rather irritating and I almost lost it when my mobile phone told me for the 100th time that my the driver of the black BMW should report to the lobby now (my sms ringtone, btw).

My emails then got onto the act too. All three emails accounts! They just went crazy! And all the emails demanded quick responses. Every medium of communication was ganging up on me. Except my darling blog. I love you blog.

Went coffee-ing with Caleb today and had to settle for coffeebean instead of starbucks because I couldn't find starbucks. Had to settle, I guess. We chatted for a while and then went home. And I think I could possibly be a motivational speaker. Haha.

Oh well. here comes tomorrow, and I don't think its gonna be very nice either. But I'm gonna put on a big smile and meet it head on!

:)

Its the eve of my birthday today, according to the Hijri (Muslim) Calender apparently. Yay.

The last few days has been a complete blur despite the fact that I've been trying to slow down the pace at which things are happening or need to happen. Sometimes I wonder why that is so. Am I afraid that there is too little time so I have to stretch the time I already have to achieve as much as I want to in life? Am I just a workaholic who just needs to be kept busy? I don't know, really.

The truth is, I like the things I do. I like organising things. I like mentoring youth. I like being part of important discussions in focus groups. I like taking part in community activities. I like writing. I like dwelling more into religion. Perhaps I like too many things. But is that wrong? Why limit myself to just a few things when life has so much to offer?

Don't get me wrong. I don't resent my life now. I really love it. But I think I need to learn how to take a break once in a while like I used to last time where I would take a good book to a Starbucks and read chapter after chapter oblivious of the world around me. Or take a long walk somewhere secluded while listening to music.

Anyway, according to the Islamic Calender, I'm a year older today. May God always keep me in the cooling shadow of Aqa Moula (TUS), who is my guide, my light, my source of strength and inspiration, my role model, my protector and my source of comfort. Moula, please hold my hand, always.

I need a break. I really really need time to myself. Despite the hints I drop everywhere, nobody seems to figure this out. I am continually being presented with more and more opportunities for interaction, more and more being forced to think about my future and more and more being bombarded with guilt trips.

I just need some 'me' time. I don't ask for these moments much. When I do could I have them please? Please?

Argh!

And so the day that I had been dreading for a long long time finally arrived. While I dreaded it, I knew it must come. Yesterday was the day the sec 4 cadets of Montfort NCDCC unit, the pioneer batch of NCDCC cadets, ended their term of service as NCDCC cadets with a R.O.D. ceremony.

Ever since I started the training the SNCO-designates (student leaders of the unit) to prepare them for the leadership roles they would play in the unit, I knew that one day, they would step down and say their goodbyes and carry on with their lives, armed with a range of new life skills. It was a normal process of life and the ROD ceremony, while a farewell ceremony, also marks their success.

The day before the ceremony, we had an overnight camp for all sec 4 cadets. It started at around 6pm. Before that I met Caleb (our CSM) and Jonathan (our ASM) for lunch. We reached school at around 5pm. We started off with dinner, followed by sharing sessions and a very fun and exciting war game. While absolutely exhausting, the war game was just absolutely fun! We played around for a while and then the war game just degenerated into a 'saboh' session where even the officers were not spared! Cpt Pang's fun streak became quite apparent. We then washed up and I had a sharing session with just the SNCOs. It was kind of like a final big debrief of their last one year. They shared with me what they felt were their accomplishments, their regrets, what they hoped for the future and their hopes for the unit. The rest of the sec fours joined up with us later and the sharing continued. Finally, we got too hungry and some of them headed fr the 7-eleven for some food and Cpt Pang, Caleb, Johnathan, Kang Hao and myself headed to the roti prata shop to have a midnight snack. When we came back, it was around 3am. After a bit more chatting exhaustion overcame us, or at least Mr Pang and myself and we went to sleep, after talking a lot more.

After waking up, we got ready for the day. There was an indoor ceremony in the AVA theatrette. I was called up by the emcee to give the first speech. I was contemplating what I would say because I never seem to be able to say everything I want when I give speeches. So I did better. I made sure I said everything I wanted to say to the sec 4s the night before. In the speech, I paid tribute to the sec 4s who were not SNCOs but made significant contributions to the unit. Then I turned my attention to the SNCOs. I had no idea how I managed to talk about them without tearing. I almost did. Cpt Pang and Major Howard then gave speeches after which the certificates and awards were given out. I was to give the plaques to the SNCOs. As every SNCO came to receive his plaque, I shook their hand and told them how proud I was of each of them. The Best Unit Cadet and SCDF-NCDCC Pinnacle Badge awards were given to Caleb. I was so proud of him. Thinking of what he was like when I was first posted to the unit and how much he had grown and matured into an aspiring young leader, I must say that cadets like him
give volunteers like me the motivation to keep doing what we do. Then a video was played which traced the journey of the sec 4 cadets from the time they entered NCDCC till now. It was prepared by the Sec 3s with a little help from me. I chose two songs, Graduation by Vitamin C followed Long Goodbye by RonanKeating to be played in accompaniment to the video. I must say the songs made the whole video rather emotional.

Then all the 5 SNCOs came up to give a speech. Caleb's speech was rather emotional and he was tearing up all the way. He spoke about his experiences in NCDCC and left some advice for his successors. He thanked me in his speech for inspiring him to become a better leader. I may not remember the words exactly but the sentiments are still clear and vivid in my mind. Johnathan than spoke about what NCDCC meant to him followed by Pradeep, Shi Jing and Kang Hao. I was really impressed by Shi Jing as he stood up there speaking. Like Caleb, he had really come very far to become a really amazing individual.

We ended the indoor session with a photo taking session. In the informal photo, I decided to be really informal and sit in the middle with my cadets.

Finally, the ROD parade segment. The parade stood at attention and the OC Unit, Cpt Kevin Pang accepted the salute. The NCDCC Song was played and the NCDCC pledge was recited. Then came a truly emotional part. All the officers went onto the parade square and shook hands with all the secondary 4 cadets. When I came to Nathaeneal, he asked me for a hug. :) He is another cadet I am proud of. Instead of taking the easy way out, he decided to persevere and even made to the GOH contingent for Founders' Day this year.

The final part of the parade was when WO Caleb Castro handed back his symbol of Authority as CSM, the wooden pace stick, to the OC unit. He then asked for permission for the parade to be dismissed and the sec fours to ROD. He gave the 'bersurai' command and when they left their ranks, the sec 4s threw their berets into the air to signify their successful completion of the NCDCC programme.

What happened after that was a complete blur. I was really tired and I had to get ready for a meeting of the Youth Organising Committee of the Asean Youth Festival. I do remember the sec 4s coming to talk to me and I do remember talking with Mr Pang about our Sec 3s. Beyond that is a blur.

When I finally reached home after the meeting, I fell asleep. After I woke up, the exhaustion mostly gone, I was just overcome with a feeling of sadness. Sure, it was a happy occasion to see our sec 4 boys grown up becoming young men. But I had already started to miss them terribly. I started to get quite upset and unfortunately, mum and dad saw me in this state. They were really concerned and almost wanted to cancel their dinner appointment if I didn't tell them what was wrong. I finally had to tell them and mum was like "Yeah you will be sad for a while but eventually you'll be just proud of them." Dad said (joking of course) that he wouldn't know what I'd do if I had a daughter and had to give her away on her wedding. (ha.ha.) Mr pang also sent me some supportive SMSes.

I pray to God that he protects my cadets on their journey in life henceforth and that no matter what challenges lie ahead, they would be able to overcome it and be successful in life.

Guys, I'm really really going to miss you.

Post-script
I remember writing in one of my earlier posts long ago that I was afraid that I wouldn't leave any lasting legacy in the world before I died. Its not my name that I want to leave behind. I just wanted to make sure that I was part of something that helps to make the world a better place. Now, I think that I don't hove to worry. I think I'm part of that something now. And I don't ever want to stop.

Last Saturday (2 days ago), I was part of a sharing session where we had to introduce ourselves and then talk about a picture we had selected earlier. We were supposed to describe what struck us about that picture and how we feel that picture represents us.

I selected a picture of people jumping off the "flying fox", i.e. zipline. I said that the picture struck me because it represented to me an aspect of training students. When a participant first comes to the top of the eight storey structure from which he has to jump off and goes to the edge, he will feel afraid of jumping off.

Thus the instructor's role is to not only ensure safety of the participant, but to also assure the participant that he is safe and to give him the confidence that he can do this. So the duties are three fold of the instructor: To ensure the participant's safety, to bring down the fear level of the participant by showing him the safety measures that have been taken and to increase his confidence level so that he will make the jump of the structure and zipline all the way to the other side.

Similarly, when giving a student the opportunity to exercise leadership, he may be afraid at first. He may feel that he is not yet capable enough to do what has been assigned to him. Thus it is the facilitator's job to remove the barrier of fear for this big step. The facilitator has to ensure the student has been equipped with the necessary skills before hand. He has to up the student's confidence while bringing down his fear by motivating and encouraging him.

I'll use an example from the NCDCC context. If you make a cadet the platoon i/c for the first time, the officer should not scream at him for every mistake he makes. He should encourage him and motivate him while correcting his mistakes. This would build up the cadet's confidence and he will not be closed to learning from his mistakes as he would feel that he is in an environment which encourages him to learn from his mistakes. Once his initial confidence is built up, the cadet can be given more opportunities in leadership and will be able to enjoy the learning process and benefit greatly from it. Of course once he is comfortable in his leadership role, more challenges should be given to him to expand his potential.

We can never completely prepare a student for the challenges of assuming a leadership role. Just like we can never prepare a participant well enough and tell him/her what to expect as he/she slides down the zipline. They would have to experience it first hand. Similarly, when given the opportunity, students will have to experience what being a leader is first hand. We can never fully prepare them. And most importantly, we need to know as facilitators when to let go so that the student is truly uninhibited to explore his full potential.

Goodness! The last few days have really been a blur. I thought I would have some time to relax once the exams were over but its seems that the engine is still chugging on as the coal is still burning. Exams ended on a happy note on Tuesday (which exams don't end on a happy not?) and I went home and did some scheduled slacking. Yes, you read it right. Scheduled slacking. That happy moment didn't last for very long. The next day I was back at work at HQ NCDCC where some heavy duty stuff was done. I was supposed to have watched "Iron Man" at night but somebody cancelled out on me at the last minute. Boo! Yesterday was spent typing out many many official sounding email to many official sounding people. Today the morning was spent at HQ again and the afternoon was spent at Pulau Ubin. Yes. CCK to Changi. I do a lot of travelling. From the west to the east. I'm a jet-setter, I tell you. My life is glamorous. I live in denial.

Tomorrow, my dear readers, I will be having a meeting in the morning followed by tuition in the afternoon. At night, If I'm not wrong, there will be a wedding party I'm supposed to attend I think. The next day, tuition in the morning, bbq in the afternoon and year 2 reunion party at night! Finally some fun!!!!!!!!!

I am soooo gonna watch Iron Man next week. Yes, I am! Wipe that smirk off your face you!

I was watching episodes from season one of The West Wing. It's one of my favourite shows! I'm telling you if I had a choice of choosing any job in the world I like, I would like to be the President of The United States of America. He like gets to deal with so many world issues and the decisions he makes can really make a difference in the lives of people all over the world. Plus flying on Air Force One is cool! :) Too bad I'm not a natural born American citizen.

This blog is now listed on http://www.planetbohra.org

So Cool!

Yesterday before the Metabolism and Regulation exam, I freaked out. I didn't bring along my secret weapon: chocolate. Fortunately I have a friend like Xian Keng aka Ferdinand who brought extra Mars Bars to uni that day. He offered me one. I was so touched. A friend in need is a friend indeed. :)

Exams start tomorrow. yay. They end on Tuesday. Yay!!!!!

Tomorrow is metabolism. The subject is powerfully boring. It lists out each and every metabolic process that happens in the body. And we need to know all of it! All! Including enzymes, co factors, and by products! ARGH!

Ribonucleotide reductase........converts ribonucleotides to deoxyribonucleotides........wait, is that right? I think so. Whats carbomyl phosphate? Crabomyl phosphate synthase II makes it right? RIGHT? ARGH!

Study study study. Now now now!