Today I regretted doing something which I did out of impulse. I lost my temper at one of my SNCOs when all he was trying to do was show some initiative and try to make something better from his point of view. I should have just explained to him that in the future, if he has an idea he should approach his officers first before putting his ideas into action. Instead I shouted at him. I felt really bad about it. In fact I'm still feeling bad about it. I called him aside during water break and apologized to him. I think that's the least I could do.

Its like you try so hard to be the perfect mentor but then something like this happens which shakes your confidence.

I've finally submitted my UROPS final report. While there is still a presentation pending, I think the worst is over. UROPS was an exciting but very intensive research experience. I have to thank my professor A/P Shabbir Moochhala for giving me this opportunity and guding me along, my supervisor, Dr Mahesh, for being an inspiration, always guiding patiently, always allowing me to explore and always willing to stay back extra hours when I needed to work overtime. I also wanna thank Alicia, Shiao Hui, Lifang, Meiqi and Jia Ling for their friendship, weird nicknames and help throughout the year that I was attached to the lab. I think I've learnt a lot and experienced things you couldn't experience in any other module. Research is intensive and certainly not for those who aren't committed to it. But there is a certain magic about hoping to find things that support your hypothesis, optimizing failed experiments, watching your probes bind to your template DNA in your light scanner.......Amazing. :)

Exhaustion. Exhaustion. Exhaustion.

Seriously, there's no end in sight. When it seems that the workload is going to get less, it just gets more, and more. And more. It is never-ending. My UROPS report is due tomorrow and I have not yet completed it. It is going to be an all-nighter today. And tomorrow when I get back home at around 6-plus pm, I will have to go through another all-nighter to study for a freaking CA for molecular biology on Tuesday afternoon. Two days without sleep, I wonder what that will do to me. Prof Teo has been super-duper nice and has extended the paper 2 deadline for Human Relations till next week. Thank goodness, otherwise I might not get any sleep on Wednesday as well.

The week otherwise has been pretty good. However, I just wish I had been more productive. I must go to the Chatterbox at USP less often and study at the library or something where I will not distract myself. Yes you heard it right. I distract myself. Sometimes I'm a hyper kid. Good god.

I went to Montfort yesterday to find my boots were missing. I searched high and low for them and got rather worried because you can't achieve much with your uniform without boots. As it is I lost my gutters and was using rubber bands instead. I finally found my boots. They were all polished and very very shiny (with masking tape and the works). My sec 4 cadets polished my boots for me! I was so so touched. It was a really really nice gesture. Thanks guys! :) You know, Montfort ncdcc cadets are really great.

I have to get back on my 'healthy living' plan. As some people have so happily declared, I've not been sticking to it. But I'm going to try again with more determination!

Got more stuff to type but not enough time to type it. So will reserve that for another time. perhaps Wednesday when I have more time.

I am totally exhausted at the moment yet I fins the insatiable urge to blog. Truly, there are very times in my life where I have found myself so exhausted. Nowadays, the exhaustion seems to come in higher intensities and greater frequencies. I am beginning to wonder if my physical state has declined and is unable to keep up with my activities which have only increased. I think there is much truth in my theory and have to work towards becoming much much healthier. Just today due to excessive socialising on my part (all platonic!), I drank 3 cans of coke. 3 cans!!! When I came home, I reached out for jar with the Tang powder to make a drink for myself to have with dinner but I felt guilty pangs (for the first time in a long time) and settled for plain water instead. Thus, I have decided that:
(1) I will not eat fast food for the next 2 weeks (I can almost hear BY laughing her head off)
(2) I will work out every morning for at least 20 mins before starting my day
(3) I will not drink soft and sweet drinks and will settle for water or tea
There. I will be a healthier person in no time.

The last few weeks have been crazy. My UROPS project needs to be completed and there is no end in sight I'll have to go to the lab tomorrow to finish my research and hopefully start off on my report which is due really really really soon.

Things in NCDCC have also been hectic. Montfort NCDCC unit is chosen to do the GOH for their Founder's Day and motivating the cadets to put in their best throughout all the trainings is an exhausting task. However, the cadets perform miracles each and every time. They rise up to every occasion and are working really hard towards their goal. They're amazing cadets. The sec 4s will be passing out a week after GOH. I'm gonna miss all of them esp my SNCOs. Now a new batch of cadets will be coming up to take over the leadership positions and prove themselves. Its going to be exciting.

Back to work!!!!