While life still seems to be in a downward spiral to the much anticipated rock bottom, there seems to be a silver lining.

Ironically, the chaos seems to bring some sort of clarity. My incessant need to take charge of my own affairs and my overly analytical mind have combined to force me to think through the issues and get to the bottom of the problems that supposedly plague me now.

I've been thinking over yesterday and today what my life is really centered around. I realise that perhaps the things I may be centering around now are just manifestations of the principles I should center my life around. And when these manifestations disappear, as things often have a habit of doing, I will find myself in the same turmoil again.

So what is really my life centered around? I think there are a couple of things. But I have not thought through everything yet.

However, I have thought about something. One of the most important things that my life is centered around is Aqa Moula (TUS) and the path of light he is leading me upon. Let's face it, I have been far from perfect over the past few years. Yet, Moula never judges. Moula doesn't tell me 'go away'. I have been blessed to be in his holy presence year after year. That is proof enough that if God wills me to be in his presence, then certainly Moula wants me there. That Moula has called me. Despite everything, Moula draws me nearer and gives me so much more than I deserve. Even now in my most troubled moments, the world "Moula" appears on my lips. Even if I had forgotten him, he has never forgotten me. Moula guides me patiently towards the right principles. In this day, he seems to be the only leader that calls for love, peace and hope. How can I ever let go of Moula? He is my rock. In the darkest and lonliest night, Moula is the light of hope.

It's a true miracle that one can feel so blessed even in the most desolate of times.